Pass the Square

My go-to phrase lately has been “time is a thief." In fact, in the last month or so, if you have asked me how I am doing or commented on how much my kids have grown, it is highly likely that phrase was included in my response to you. But time has a funny way of trying to hide the fact that it is stealing from you. The small, day-to-day changes sneak by unnoticed, but sometimes—after just enough of those tiny changes—something bigger happens and you realize you are being robbed.

A few nights ago, my husband and I were in the living room with my 2.5 year old playing with magnetic tiles before starting the bedtime routine. All was going well, and then it happened…He asked me to pass him “the red square.”

“DID YOU HEAR WHAT HE JUST SAID?!” I frantically asked my husband.

You see, just that morning—and every morning before—that shape was confidently called a “skare.” Although on its own this does not seem like a noteworthy event, it hit me like a semi truck. In a collection of tiny moments, his toddler brain had realized he was mispronouncing the word and figured out how to correct it. How many of these not-so-noteworthy moments am I missing!?

I was simultaneously proud and heartbroken. I was hit with the realization that my not-so-little boy is learning and growing, but that means he is leaving parts of the person I know him as in the past. It made me regret not recording every minute, every misspoken word, every overly cheesy toddler grin. I yearn to etch every part of who he is now into my memory. Because the truth is, who he is today will be slightly different than who he is tomorrow. Time is stealing my baby and leaving a kid in his place.

Although that thought makes me want to puke, it won’t do either of us any good for me to wish time would stop. I know my little guy needs to be able to learn and grow and become the tomorrow version of himself. As much as my mama heart desires to keep him little, it also understands that who God created him to be tomorrow is so much better than I can even fathom.

Although time is taking something from me, it is gifting me with something even better. So, I will embrace the transition from “skare” to “square,” with as few mama tears as possible, and will love my growing boy with every fiber of my being.